Do You Wanna Marry Juanna?

Juanna is a popular girl? You sure you wanna marry her?

Breath-taking as she is, she will leave you dry and high. And though it’s true that she’s no digger, moolah goes up in smokes around her.

She tells pretty little lies like “you’re hungry” and “you smell nice.” 

But to your doctor, you’ll come a runin’.  Outta breath and barely breathn’. ‘Cause you thought that I was foolin’ when I said “Don’t Marry Juana”

Right now, she’s with a politician. Soon there’ll be some dirt-a-dish’n. But they’ll say they were researchin’ for a bill they’ll soon be passin’.

She promised you a nice death bed as a perk to get you all wed ’cause you’re in pain and enough said.

But she cheats with thoroughbreds. Strong and healthy lives instead. Making waste of minds in head. Not just those who hurt in bed.

That wed license shouldn’t be legal. She’ll fly away with your cerebral. Empty lives that should have been full must now see a doc to get an air-full.

What do you think of little Ms. Juanna? Should we keep her or make her a goner!

By: Dr Anthonette Desire.

All rights reserved. Previously blogged on http://www.nadmedicalservices.com on Saturday, April 19, 2014  Stock photo from godaddy.com

The Home Run

In a world beyond my right now but within my hands reach, I energetically scribbled across the page. Pearls of wisdom poured from the podium and flooded my brain. A headache. I felt it coming on.  Clutching my coffee cup tighter than I need to, I settled in to becoming a #Harvardwriter.

The next 3 days delivered as promised.

I drank from its thunderous downpour of power-packed content. I learned of the wonders of deadlines, of the secrets to maintaining motivation and of the magic of the couch.

But should I say hello? The density of genius that packed the room was at infinitum. The Harvard Medical School Course on Writing, Publishing and Social Media for Healthcare Professionals attracted physicians, psychologist and healthcare professionals world-wide. And there I sat, one of them, yet, in awe.

Then someone approached and said “Hello.”

Staying in the moment and connecting with thought-leaders had fueled my pre-conference decision to ditch the laptop from my things-to-pack list. But regret gnawed at the grey matter of brain until it was jolted by that in-the-moment MOMENT.

Did I just hear that? Did Dr. Julie Silver, Director of the course and author extraordinaire, just offer up a momentous opportunity, on a larger than life podium, at the Fairmont Plaza, for a #HarvardWriter inductee, to pitch a book idea, on the fly, in front of an accomplished panel of authors, editors, agents, coaches, publishers and social media judges while in a packed ball room? What the what?

Catapulted by my initiates, I stood before giants. And seized the day. My book is coming out tomorrow.

Okay, no it’s not.

But unknowingly,  being consciously present as the audience of pitch-practiced authors, as they braved the ice-cold world of engaging the publishers, had taught me how to land the 70-second elevator pitch.

I had 23 out of 23 judges at “No! Don’t pee there!”

Ok. You had to be there. But that laptop-free session became my pitch-on-the-fly prep and I was ready to change my world.

Magnetic people interactions were my destiny. A midnight dinner with the author of the book, “I’m not a Princess, I’m a complete fairytale”. A reminiscing stroll with the author of “Hindsight: Coming of age on the streets of Hollywood”- a book worthy of Netflix, Energizing conversations with Blogger and Twitter Top-Voice, Dr. Melissa Welby,  group selfies on a backdrop fit for social media rounded my stay as I  watched starry eyed writers, published professionals and accomplished doctors dream.

Slouched in exhaustion and dizzy from the weekend’s speed, I sought refuge on seating tucked deep into the lobby.  The bustling noises had faded and I now dreamt of home. I listened as steps pattered close behind me and heard someone say “I’m so glad that we met.” Uncurled from the cough, barefoot on the floor, I stood and smiled widely. The last person to wish me good bye that weekend was none other that Dr. Nilsy Rapalo. The same someone who started my weekend with “Hello.”

It was magical. It must have been the couch.

The Needle Is Out!

You sat there and you wondered if the needle was still in. After all, it was a needle that punctured your vein. And the evidence is left strapped to your arm.

But little do you know of the magics of medicine delivered daily. The slight-of-hand tricks-of-the-trade that we pull off on a regular bases.

Because, shazam! The needle IS out. Did you see it?

But what is in? What is that residual poking feeling that remains? It’s not all in your head. It’s right there. You can feel it.

And something IS there. It is called a catheter. A fancy term for a straw. And it is left behind after the needle is retracted. Yes! Retracted. Pulled out. Gone. Removed. Usually manually but often with a spring-action, click-of-a-button, snap-back into a safety cover.

But why is the catheter there? Well, that’s there because we, your doctors, would like direct access to your blood stream. Yes. Full, unfettered, direct access right to your heart! Or Lung, or toe or belly button. You get it. For the administration of treatment.

So next time you swear that there is still something poking you. It’s not in your brain. It’s in your vein. It’s a venous catheter.

Restraints In The Hospital

Recently, I was met with a very angry family member. “Why is my brother tied to the bed?” He asked. “I’m usually a very reasonable man but he cannot speak for himself. So I sure will. And I’m very upset about this!” were his next words.

Surely, I should have been offended. After all, I just saved his life. You’re welcome.

But the realities of restraints in the hospital setting are heart breaking. And usually occur in the most fragile of patients – the critically ill and the cognitively impaired. So, how does one decide when it is ok to tie a patient’s wrists to the bedrails? And how often does this occur? What are the patient’s thoughts on this practice? And why is this practice even allowed by the hospital governing bodies?

I will tell you this. I know, that as a hospitalist physician, I get those calls. You know the one. “Doc, Mr X has removed his IV access and is streaking naked down the hall screaming ‘They’re not gonna getting me.” And I will have to respond to that escalating situation with an overhead announcement of “Code Manpower Needed.”

And I also know that I will get the call that little Ms. Y is hosing down her toes with her running IV antibiotics while planting new flowers in the brown soil of her diapers.

And that Little Jonny, physically all grown up, is still mentally challenged and giving the staff a hard time by not staying put.

Or that Joey Shmoey has extubated himself and is now a pale shade of grey.

So what do we do?

We restrain.

Now of course, you should be rightfully up in arms! Repeat after me… “What? That’s your answer? Aren’t there other modalities that can be attempted prior to resorting to HANDCUFFS? exclamation! Exclamation! EXXCLAMMATIONS !!!!

And the answer is … yes of course. Who do you think we are? savages? Wait. don’t answer that. But serious, “not staying-put” is not a valid reason for restraints. So keep reading.

The PSQH website on Patient Safety and Quality Healthcare recently published an article on just this public concern. They entitled it “The Correct Use of Physical Restraints in the Inpatient Setting”, a titles that begs one to wonder of the incorrect uses. And they have pointed out that it is a slippery slope.

So when my angry family member voiced his advocating rights, I have no choice but to nodded and validated. And when alternative therapeutic modalities were suggested, I considered them and offered a few of my own. Until we all come to a consensus. In this case, given this situation, at this current time, in this current state, restraints was the safest modality to offer 1st line treatment.

The truth is, however, that the optics of restraints aren’t easily reconciled with its necessity. Nor are its adverse effects.

So although this case resulted in a mutual agreement, the next case may be you or your family. Or maybe it’s me. On a slippery slope.

So what do you do? You ask questions. You say something. You advocate. You wait for the rational. And you help to make the treatment process safe and effective.

What can you do? You can stay at bedside. Because we will respect your wishes to remove restraints while patient is under your supervision.

What are your views? I’d like to hear from you.

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*Featured hand photo taken from free photo library

When Life Is Overwhelming

We all pride ourselves on being busy. We have a calendar of things to do. It imparts importance. You’ve got places to be and days to seize. You have arrived! And your status in life is clearly evident by your hasty, hourly, hoping from one happening spot to another.

But what do you do when life, repetitively, places you in 2 places at once? How do you, repetitively, chose to perform one priority task over another? What are your actual decisions when faced, daily, with conflicting social, personal and career responsibilities?

Enduring an overwhelming situation, temporarily, is par for the course but when there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel and decision-fatigue sets in, where do you turn?

The short answer is … you fall to your knees in prayer.

Your path is already known. And God has already made a way.

Simply put …this is only a test.

(Spoiler Alert … your heavenly father determines your score. And he has already said that if you just take the test, you will pass. It’s all in the bag. It’s fixed! No jail time. )

So this is a test. This is only a test of your Emergency Faith in Operations Needs. And you need more faith. But, not to worry, it’s free. It’s handed out every time that you pray. It just … falls from the sky.

Had this been a true emergency, you would have only seen one foot print in the sand. http://www.footprints-inthe-sand.com/index.php?page=Poem/Poem.php

For now, you have to walk. After all, it’s still a test.

It’s your open-book test. It’s your use every resource around you test. It’s your ask the Lord for all the answers test. It’s your call a life-line test. It’s your YOU-WILL-NOT-FAIL test.

So come boldly before the thrown of grace and ask for the answers. Hebrew 4:16 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+4%3A16&version=NKJV

Because life becoming overwhelming … is only a test.

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